Sunday, February 8, 2009

Step up to the circus!!!

Alright, so its not THAT bad. But days it feels like it!!! Years ago I suffered from a horrible abnormality called PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). One of the loverly side effects is increased hair growth. But NOT on my head where I would have preferred!! Well, not exactly not on my head. On my chin!!! WTF?!?! And not just a few stray hairs here and there either. DAMN!! I can grow a better goatee than my brother-in-law can in a week!!! It just isn't right!!! I promise there's no adam's apple visible in my throat. And what are my options?
Well there's plucking. But seriously, with this volume..that's just long, drawn out, and PAINFUL!! Another option is not enough tequila in the state (and I'm NOT going to a little nail salon to have them do it!!). Hmm..electrolysis? Tried it, that shit HURTS!! Laser hair removal? Not in the cards until I reach 200lbs, or win the lottery. So I'm left with shaving. So every morning I stand at the sink and shave that crap off. I know that it will grow back thicker and more dense by doing this, but I just don't care!! I do it all dry and have never had razor burn or anything else. Its just a PAIN IN THE ASS!!!
I've had mornings where I have been too busy or tired to remember this little ritual and left the house. Only to catch a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror and almose careen into the nearest ditch. I've considered keeping an emergency stash of razors in the glove box, but in order to shave in public I think I'd need to wear much flashier clothing, LOTS more makeup, and do wonders with my hair (ala drag queen style)...otherwise I'll cause Mr. Improtant on his way to work to spill his Starbucks as he glances over at the lady in the next car pruning herself. Ugh!!
I guess if I am not able to find a job elsewhere I can always see if the local circus is hiring and get on as the bearded lady. Wonder how much they pay?

*Disclaimer: That is NOT a picture of MY actual chin!


Missy said...

You are so funny! Let it grow!

Susan said...

Oh my god. I'm cracking up. Especially at your disclaimer! Whew.

Annie said...

I promise not to complain abpout a stray single hair now!

Dorsey said...

No sweat Annie, I'm at peace with it...sort of..ha!

Searching For My Inner Skinny © 2008 Template by Exotic Mommie Illustration by Dapina