Thursday, April 16, 2009

What every mother wants...or why I wish my son could join the army now

So yesterday I had a pounding headache. I didn't bother even LOOKING at my backyard. THIS was a mistake!!! When my son came home from school, with his cronies, I began to hear clanking sounding. I turned towards the direction of the mystery noise (it wasn't a pipe bomb..whew!) and saw a wheelbarrow and three teenage boys wielding shovels and assaulting my backyard. WTF?!?!

I looked up some more and saw a large hole forming. Again...WTF?!?! My son came in and told me that they were digging because they wanted to...and were interested in digging a trench. Ah yes! THAT is what I thought my backyard needed...a trench, to hide from the invading Plano people, I'm sure (as that is SUCH a problem here in the N. Dallas suburbs)! With every clink of a shovel onto the wheelbarrow my head had little tiny explosions going on inside. I informed my darling son that if he was SO interested in digging a hole, why not dig UP the tree that had grown on its own next to the house and replant it in this sinkhole (aka trench).

He and his buddies then turned their attention to the tree and started "uprooting it". After they had replanted it, he came in to share his pride.

The boy: Mom, we got the tree moved. We put it in the middle of the dog crap land mine.

Me:(thinking: of course he did! You wouldn't want a trench in hte middle of a mine field.) my reply: Where?!?! NO BOY! You were SUPPOSED to put it in the hole you already had dug up!!!

This morning I peered outside and saw the tree down on its side. So obviously I needed to fix their replant. Its a nice tree, I just didn't want it growing its roots under my house and screwing with my foundation.

I walked outside and immediately went to where the tree had been moved. Hmmm...seems kind of shallow. So I placed it upright, stepped on the roots and tried my best to shove it back into the hole. It fell over again while I went to inspect the area where it originally resided. Ah ha! That explains it. The hole left by the boys where the tree USED to be COULD HAVE BEEN DUG BY MY CHIHUAHUAS!!!! It wasn't even 1/2 a foot deep!!!! Oh yes, that tree will die soon.

I took some dirt (clay) from the wheelbarrow and packed it into the replant hole and pounded it down so that it would stay upright. So far, so good. I didn't even need to install supports to keep the tree up.

Then I went back to look at the "trench". OMG! Words cannot describe! Here's pictures of the "damage".

The downed tree

The reinstated tree

The hole where the tree USED to be

The "trench"

So you tell me...think he'll make it to his freshman year of high school?


Sally's World said... have to wonder whats going through their minds sometimes!!!!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

OMG, I sure hope my kids don't do this someday...I'm going to have to be on the look out for strange behaviour from now on! Thanks for the heads-up!

Anonymous said...

um.. that's a lot of water in that hole. If Plano invades, you're going to drown.

I'm glad my kids are past that stage... although I did try to get the air force to take my son at one point. They wouldn't have him.

Susan said...

Oh my gosh... you live my life. Swear. God bless the child's survival.

America's Next Top Mommy said...

I'm lost as to why they thought you needed a trench in your backyard? Are they often in need of a place to hide during times of high gun fire?

Chantelle said...

Oh my gosh Dorsey. Fun and games at your house.

That's insane.

I think next time your boy and all his cronies need to go to someone elses house and dig a trench!

The Stiletto Mom said...

Seriously, you cannot be careful enough of the Plano people. They will march in wearing Pucci and just take over the place. Trust me I know. They took control of Frisco a while back and we've never been the same. :)

I kid, people of Plano...I kid!

Laurie said...

Oh no! But seriously?! You must be the coolest mom EVER. We have had tree drama over here in Frisco too. One of ours keeps blowing over. The wind is horrible. Thank goodness I don't have any trenches in my hard though. ;)

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