I cannot count the number of times I feel I have left this blog in the dust, seemingly forgetting all about it. I'm not sure if there comes a time in a woman's life that she is too old to continue playing all the silly games of life. Perhaps it is that as I age, I look back less and strive to look forward instead.
Looking back is a tricky beast. Being overweight seems to be a curse of looking back. You carry with you the experiences (and pounds) of many a day and night. My life is not defined by my weight, at all. However, I feel as though I am judged by this excess burden every day. I find that I have stopped crying over this issue less and less in recent months. I used to discover that I had so much regret in my life over my failed attempts at weight loss. But this is just wasted time and energy. I will no longer live with regret!
I am not going to avow that I will work out every other day and watch every bite that I eat. Instead, I will attest to being real. I will do my best to move towards a healthier life. I do not want to develop diabetes or any other number of maladies associated with carrying around far ore weight than I should.
Lent is all about giving something up, some bad habit, so you can become closer to God and reaffirm your spiritual relationship. This year I am giving up frivolous spending. The random trip to Wal-mart to acquire some unneeded trinket will not longer burden my conscience. I will not make sporadic jaunts to the local craft store to start some new task that will consume my every thought for all of two weeks and then find it's way to an already overcrowded closet. And of course, no more runs to the closest fast food establishment to quiet the latest craving.
I am hopeful that this will be a step in the right direction of abandoning my past and future regrets and moving towards a closer relationship with God, myself, my family, and friends. through this journey I am optimistic that I will find my ultimate motivation to a healthier life.