Stay on track

It's not always easy to stay the course when you feel like you're on a weight loss plan by yourself in a house. Last night I did manage to get hubby to do 30 minutes of yoga (had to convince him that doing so naked would only make me laugh hysterically and throw off his balance).

Again this morning I woke up around 4:30am. The only difference was this time I stayed awake all day instead of taking a 2-3 hour nap mid-day as I did yesterday. I've been going to bed around 10pm every night, so I guess by then my body is just done sleeping for the evening. Ah well. I've gotten out of bed in the morning rather than try to fight it because it seems like in the past when I have gone back to sleep I've just laid around the house all day and gotten absolutely NOTHING done at all!

I've been keeping my food diary on my iPod, so I'm pleased with that facet of this process. I didn't pick the best food choices today, but I have managed to stay under my calorie goal by about 600 calories. I've tried to at least have a bagel in the morning for breakfast, or a s*** fast shake, so I get things going early on. I know all too well that skipping breakfast can only hurt you rather than help you when trying to lose weight.

Tonight I think I'll do some Wii Fit Plus yoga, a little strength training, and then finish up with some step aerobics. Now that I have songs on my iPod again, I want to take full advantage of the upbeat newly added tunes.

I think I'll take the movies back to Blockbuster tonight, too...that way I can get the next set in the mail and get the new ones that come out next Tuesday when I'm ready to trade out again.

Postings everywhere!!

Welcome to my new tool box! Yes, Post-Its/sticky notes! I have put then up all over the house to remind me to do little things throughout my day. =) One of the messages greeting me at every corner says this:

As I mentioned before, I do better at keeping up with weight-loss related items if I blog on a regular basis. So that should explain this one.

The next is also kind of self-explanatory.

This one is the most prevalent in my household. I think I have one or two in almost every room in the house. This morning it seemed to do the trick, and I'm hoping that it will continue to do so later in the day when I go for workout-round 2. I'm trying to mix up my workouts these days, so I don't get so burn-out so quickly and just let it fall by the way-side. This morning I started with some yoga, followed by a little cardio dance instruction courtesy of a Dancing With The Stars DVD. This afternoon I think I'll hit the EA Active "game" on the Wii. Then I'll follow it all up with some Dance Dance Revolution this evening.

Here's the last post it:

Again, kind of self-explanatory. We seem to have a problem with achieving a steady stream of finished laundry in this house. I placed one of these by all the hampers in the house (master bathroom, son's room, daughter's room), on the wall in the kids' bathroom, and on the door that leads to the laundry room. By doing this I'm hoping that at least three loads of laundry will get done every day. I know that may seem like a lot, but eventually it'll even out and we'll have to do less (I hope!). And for the record, I already started my load today.

I'm thinking I'll make some chicken salad for lunch today and have it with some pita bread. I LOVE that stuff!! If it turns out to taste super yummy, I'll post the recipe. I think its one I took out of a magazine.

Be well friends!

Time management

I have recently acquired a new laptop. Well, sort of. My mother-in-law seems to have this thing for buying electronics. They're kind of disposable for her. She bought the one I'm talking about and then one day discovered that it no longer turned on. So she put it aside and went and got another one.


With my penchant for laptop repair, hubby thought he'd bring it home and see if I could diagnose and fix the problem. Knowing already that it wouldn't turn on, I decided first to check the battery. I took the battery off of my laptop and plugged it in (as my battery was fully charged). And wah-lah! We have start-up! Turns out the problem was simply that the laptop wasn't recognizing the AC adapter. So I went about dismantling the case to get to the appropriate plug. I got to it, sort of...its encased in plastic that I was unable to free it from without probable serious permanent damage.

So comes the chance for some serious time management. With a fully charged battery, I have just under 4 hours of life on this portable life support machine I call a laptop. Ha! Yes, I could go upstairs and play around on the desktop PC up there, but I'm trying to save that one for business purposes only. So I am resigning myself to cutting down the time I spend "plugged in" to the virtual world I keep in my head and on the Internet. This should help me with my exercise routine as well. If I'm not always on a computer, then I will have time available to do other things.

For more years than I can remember, when I've asked hubby what he wants for his birthday, he has responded with: "a clean house and a BJ." So this year, seeing as how we are in a cash tight situation for the time being, I've decided to give him just that! So today the kids and I are busy cleaning the house and organizing things. I even got the kids to help me move a non-working car out of the garage so I could get another dresser and move it into our bedroom for more storage room. I'm kind of good at the second part of that request, and even enjoy it, so that shouldn't be a problem either (after the kidlets get tucked into bed for the evening and the appropriate doors locked...ha!).

Another advantage of this new scheduling adjustment in my days is more time to keep the house clean! This is another constant request from hubby. And truth be told, I do feel more at peace when habitating in a tidy abode. *grin* Just don't tell hubby!! Ha!

So I'm off to take care of some other online duties, before my timer runs out and this contraption starts yelling at me telling me the battery's about to go out on me; then its off to more cleaning. He'll be home in just under 2 hours after all!


Good luck in all your endeavors, friends!

She lives!!!

This past month, August, has not been one of my better months, I must admit.

Kyle and I had an unfortunate, but altogether necessary, financial "come to Jesus meeting," which ending in my "voluntarily" surrendering of the credit cards. My neighbor and good friend's mother passed away. My old maid great aunt passed away. And to top it off, I fell HARD off the weight loss wagon.

At one point this month I thought I'd made a real breakthrough! I had started consistently using Dance Dance Revolution on the Wii as a workout tool. I'd dance for about 30-40 minutes a day. I kept this up for about 10 days without missing a single day. Some days I even managed to work in an hour or more with this new trend I was starting for myself. Then death hit across the street. I was spending so much time doing whatever I could to help out a friend (pick up family at the airport, shop for upcoming birthday presents, pick up and pay for food for the reception to follow funeral services, etc...) that I'd stopped making time to work out. School was about to start for the kids and I thought this would offer me the time I was looking for to get back into it.

The first day of my kids' new school year hubby and I were headed to South Texas for the visitation and funeral services for my aunt. We stayed in a hotel overnight and then came home to a lot of busy days. We got back to the house early Tuesday (Aug. 24th) evening and then Wednesday (Aug. 25th) evening I had a meeting at the church for this year's confirmation class. On Friday (Aug. 27th), there was a Meet the Pirate night scheduled (a scrimmage football game and fundraising opportunity for the AFJROTC at the high school) that I was fated to attend and help out with. The next Monday (Aug. 30th) was Meet the Teacher night at both the high school and junior high. Of course, they were both pretty much at the same time as each other. Dear hubby had to work and I needed to be the one meeting their teachers anyway (I'm the one, not he, that deals with homework and parent-teacher communication throughout the year). For Meet the Teacher night at the high school I needed to compose a sign-up sheet for parents to fill out for AFJROTC (I'm the current secretary for the booster club) and get it up to the school and enough copies printed/copied for the task at hand.

Tuesday night (Aug. 31st), dear hubby left to go hunting for the week/weekend. The kids had school and so we stayed up here. We thought about meeting up with him at the farm house on Friday (Sept. 3rd), but the kids wanted to stay in town and attend a youth function at the church instead. Then I found out dear daughter has duties to perform at church on Sunday (this morning, Sept. 5th), so we're staying around here for the entire time hubby's away. Dear son went to a lock-in at the church Friday night and then to a LAN gaming party last night; so his social calendar was all kinds of full this weekend. Hubby will be back some time Monday evening, and until then the kids and I are keeping it low key at home (well I know I am, at least). Hubby DID leave me a credit card for the week/weekend, but with distinct instruction that it ONLY be used for groceries and gas for the car...NOTHING else! And eating out does NOT constitute grocery spending.

So I just haven't made time is what it boils down to in the end. I've been trying to eat better, which not having access to a credit card helps tremendously with that little task! No cash/no credit cards = No dining out!! Hubby shops for groceries, so that keeps me on the straight and narrow as far as eating better goes as well.

I guess in the end I know that I need to buckle down and just DO it! Perhaps I'll post little post-it notes all over the house telling myself to exercise and write my foods down in a food journal...and to BLOG REGULARLY!! I am being honest when I say that blogging on a regular basis has truly helped in me in my efforts. It makes me feel accountable to many people online. And somehow that seems to help me more than even being answerable to a local group of people. I feel like I'm letting various readers of this blog down when I don't update regularly.

So here's to my re-birth into the world of weight loss and blogging! "Dorsey will never go away agaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn!" (Just picture me singing it to the tune of "Hello, Dolly!" I'm sure that'll at least give you a chuckle.)

First...er...uhm...well steps anyways

So first let me start off by saying I apologize for my rant last night. It was a truly tear-filled evening. I went to bed and Hubby and I talked for about an hour about several things (money, habits, love, relationships, weight loss). I DO believe that I've had a few breakthroughs in the past 24 hours.

Hubby has agreed to go for walks with me in the mornings. I think this will really help, as so many times I've felt like I'm all alone in my efforts. No one else really enjoys exercising in this house and all too often no one is available on any kind of regular basis at night to do so.

I also went into our game closet in the gameroom and got out our Dance Dance Revolution pad. I turned on the Wii, got everything hooked up and started the game. I did this for about 30 minutes (I've never played at home and I found it to be a REALLY extensive workout, for sure!) and then the family joined me. We all played a couple of songs and then decided to go to the neighborhood pool. We stayed there for about an hour or so. Did I mention we walked there? (Its about 1/2 - 3/4 of a mile) We came back home (walking again) and then had dinner.

After dinner was over I went upstairs and got a board game for the family to play. We played a game called Cashflow, its a game developed by a motivational speaker of sorts. It teaches about passive income, investments, bills, and many other financial aspects. We had a nice time and I think the kids might have even learned a thing or two in the process.

After the game everyone went their separate ways and I decided to play some more Dance Dance Revolution. So I put in about another 30 minutes or so and worked up as good sweat. ALL good exercise for today!!

I ate pretty well today, and chose water to drink all except for breakfast when I had a small glass of milk. I've decided to switch from full-sized dinner plates to a smaller plate. This was I'll be able to better control my portions and not feel compelled to fill the whole plate ad then devour everything therein. If I head out to eat, either with the family or with friends, I'll ask for a to-go box right away so that I can divide my plate in half before I even begin eating.

I am happy to report that even though our vacation got somewhat canceled, the kids took it well (Hubby told them) and we're going to work on budgeting and being a healthier family this week. We are planning a trip to the farm house later in the week to drop off the camper. And then at the end of the week we're going to my sister's home to get some furniture that belongs to my parents for our house here.

So I'll say goodnight for now my friends. Thank you so listening.

Need taller boots..STAT!!!

Well, I've gone and done it now. I've stepped in it over my head and regular wading boots just won't cut it. On top of my worry over my weight loss failures of late, I've royally screwed us in our finances. I've tried to take over the bills and such, but my doing so has almost gotten us into the red in the bank. So tonight Hubby and I sat down and looked at several things. I have cried more times than I care to, I'm even struggling not to burst into tears now.

We cannot afford to go on our planned vacation for this week. So no Frio River for us. And I feel HORRIBLE that this is all my fault!! If I'd have kept a better hold on my spending then we wouldn't be in this mess. So tomorrow morning, somehow, I have to tell our children that we're not going on vacation.

I think I'll try to go to bed now. Hubby's just left my side and headed to bed himself. Although I fear I'll just cry more down there with him, I need to sleep. A winning lottery ticket would REALLY help things right about now. Ah well, I guess its time to take my medicine like a big girl.

Vacation time?

For several years now I've occasionally taken a hiatus from my weight loss journey. I've almost always felt guilty about that when I muster up the courage to step on the scale and find myself with more pounds than I'd anticipated gaining on my time off. So I guess the short of it is that I understand that true weight loss efforts don't get a vacation!

This next week the family (all four of us) are heading to the Frio River here in Texas for a little vacay! We're also going to New Braunfels to hang out as well. The only worry in all of this is the lack of exercise involved in floating the river. I mean, I really don't think that laying on an innertube for hours on end and drifting down in the cool waters burns all that many calories. So I guess its kind of a good thing that the bathrooms an showers are a little bit of a jaunt from our camp site. I'll just have to drink LOTS of water and make sure I need to make trips to the bathrooms often while we're in camp. So this week consists of cleaning the house, doing laundry, and packing.

Usually I wouldn't put so much effort into my cleaning efforts, but supposedly my parents are following us back to the house and staying for a couple of weeks. At the end of our vacation we're going to bring back a lot of their furniture to keep in our house (a couple of beds, chaise lounger, dresser, kitchen table, etc...). So maybe if I do a lot of running up and down the stairs this week it'll make up for some of my laziness next week.

Last week the kids and I went camping at Lake Somerville near College Station with my parents. We were there for seven days and had a fantastic time!! We got to spend some time with my folks and enjoy being outdoors as well. I thought I'd done really well and could look forward to a downward moving scale number upon return home. I weighed a couple days ago (we got back July 21st) and the number was NOT encouraging.

What do you do while on vacation to help ensure success in your weight loss journey?

Interventions

for the past couple of nights I've been watching the show "Intervention" on A&E online. There are so many sad and tragic stores being told on this show! I begin to wonder if there is an "intervention" for folks in my situation. I am not taking drugs, drinking to excess, addicted to shopping or plastic surgery, or any other such things. But I DO believe I have an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. Scratch that, I don't really have a relationship with exercise at all. At best, its on again - off again. The frightening thing is that I have researched more than a lot of people I know. I have read all the tips/tricks of the weight loss trade. I can give other people the answers to their own success. However, I have not put them into motion in my own life, not consistently at least.

So I sit here late at night on and wonder if tonight will be the night that I make that change in my life. I have heard over and over that with anything you have to WANT to change to do so. I have WANTED to change for YEARS, more than 13 years to be exact. I had the will power to continue through in school (college) and get my associates degree. I need to take care of myself and my own health. I can not be the best mother, wife, woman, friend, etc I am capable of being without first taking the best care of myself, no excuses!

I LOVE when people comment here and I feel, physically in every inch of my being, the support that I receive from those words.

I am trying to accept myself more these days. This is not to say that I do not need change in my life in regards to my lifestyle as it relates to food and exercise. But I'm trying to see that there are great things in me at EVERY weight!! I have stopped coloring my hair. I DO have some gray hairs, and I've decided to embrace them. I earned each and every one of them. They are evidence of my 35+ years of life and the good, bad, and truly awesome times I have experienced along the way.

Thank you friends for your words of encouragement! Through your words, the help of my family, friends, myself, and God I WILL accomplish ALL my goals!!

Definitions

Every wonder what defines you in the eyes of other people? I have come to wonder this many times over the past few months. Am I defined by the fact that I'm a mother and wife? Am I defined by the fact that I do not have a job that pays money? Am I defined by the fact that I am an overweight woman? Am I defined by my house and home?

There are nine definitions found on dictionary.com when I searched the word woman. They are as follows:
1. the female human being (distinguished from man).

2. an adult female person.

3. a female attendant to a lady of rank.

4. a wife.

5. the nature, characteristics, or feelings often attributed to women; womanliness.

6. a sweetheart or paramour; mistress.

7. a female employee or representative: A woman from the real estate agency called.

8. a female person who cleans house, cooks, etc.; housekeeper: The woman will be in to clean today.

9. women collectively: Woman is no longer subordinate to man.

I have yet to start a regular exercise routine, though I have been waking my son and husband so that they can go run on a regular basis. Most mornings I wake up between 4:00am and 5:00am. I don't typically go back to bed and wait for the alarm to go off at either 6:00am or 7:00am. I wander upstairs, log onto the computer, and take care of miscellaneous activities there.

I do not want to be defined by my weight, yet I fear that it is more of an identifier in my life than the fact that I am a woman. I am making a promise to myself to do something about my current situation. To no longer worry about how other see me, but instead to change the way I see myself. Even when those pants I wear to work out in might be a little tighter than I'd prefer, and my shape does nothing to match the one on my screen when I exercise with EA Active, I will strive to be more. I will be more than an overweight individual, more than a woman, more than now while working to take up less space.

Scale? What scale?

It has actually been more than two months since I stepped on a scale. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the fact that my husband moved it from its normal home in the bathroom to the closet, or if it is just my own personal nonviolent protest taking place.

I have done a lot of thinking and retooling my life as of late.

I'm having to work with my son almost daily to get his grades up and keep him out of summer school. He is supposed to be going to Summer Leadership School for ROTC this as well. This starts the first week after school lets out for the year. But if he isn't able to skate by on his grades, then he won't be able to attend that either. I'd LOVE for him to be able to go take advantage of this opportunity, but I will not have him miss summer school if that is the case. I have even taken the time to plot out his next four years in school and plan on showing it to him later this week.

My daughter seems to be on the straight and narrow for the most part. She's only slacking in Math, which is somewhat of a pet peeve of mine considering I'm kind of a math geek. But overall she's holding up her end of the bargain. She isn't doing much in the way of extra-curricular, but that'll come later, I suppose. The only thing I'd change there is her willingness to help out with normal household chores, but this is something that we ALL need help with from time to time.

I've resigned myself to taking ownership of the truck recently as well. We have a pretty newer convertible that I rarely get to drive. Most days hubby takes it to work, citing the excuse of having to drive across town and requiring the vehicle that gets the better gas mileage. Personally, I believe it is simply so he can feel somewhat cool and take all his work buddies out to lunch while enjoying the warm weather, clear skies, and wind in his hair. Now, however, the truck is not running. Well it WILL run, but in essence will not stop properly. There is a leak in the brake line and hubby insists he can fix it and have me running back to new in no time. However his "no time" and mine are not exactly the same. I believe he uses this as a ploy to keep me grounded at home and away from anywhere that might take credit cards as a form of payment. QUITE annoying, I assure you! Yes, he spouts this whole..."get a job and start making car payments and you can have the convertible any time you want" b.s., but I have a sneaking suspicion that even when THAT becomes the case, there will be another convenient reason for my having to drive the truck (see gas/mileage issue from before).

But I am trying to better myself too, not just my children (however feeble that attempt may seem right now in regards to the kids). I'm trying to take a little bit of time out of every day for a bible study of sorts. This is not to say I'm meeting with other people, I'm just working through some devotional books and trying to find some personal time for just me and God. I try to go outside and sit at the picnic table if the weather is nice. Otherwise I tend to sit at the kitchen table and do my studies. I usually have some sort of notebook with me where I jot down notes about what I'm reading and my own personal thoughts on the topic. I also have been trying to write out a little prayer related to that day's readings. This has really been helping, I feel. It gives me a sense of peace about my life and helps to feed my soul.

I am continuing to work through my medical transcription online, and am hopeful that I won't need to file for an extension on the program. If I really get serious about it, I should be able to be finished by the end of July to middle of July. Then, fingers crossed, I'll be able to find employment and feel better about contributing on a monetary level in this family.

Yesterday morning, the rest of the family went out for a run. Hubby likes to run for exercise and tells me I don't know how to run (because I'm more of a jogger/walker and wasn't trained to run in the military). The boy will have to do daily runs at Summer Leadership School and the ROTC program at school is encouraging them to run on a regular basis in order to not have their system totally shocked when they get to camp. The girl says she's cool with walking, and some jogging, but isn't really keen on the whole running gig. She came back early yesterday after the initial jogging/warm-up portion of their routine. Supposedly they are going to give this another go this morning. Let's see if this time the boy comes back and goes back to bed. I'm thinking I won't let him, as I have a list of assignments that have no grades entered in the teachers' gradebooks (or rather they DO have a grade, of zero!).

I need to get back into a regular exercise regimen, as I know that will be the secret to my weight loss success. I need to commit fully a whole three months to exercising without missing any days. If I am still struggling at the end of that time, then I have thought of looking into bariatric surgery. However, I truly feel in my heart that if I were to maintain a good exercise routine and continue eating like I know I should, then surgery would definitely not be needed or warranted.

Thank you friends for being there, and I'm sorry I've been so sporadic about my posting. Right now, Renee at CutieBootyCakes is my hero!! She has done a phenomenal job of getting into shape and looks AMAZING!! Way to go, gal! I think of you daily!